South Korean actress Song Ok-sook recently opened up about the emotional reasons behind her 1998 divorce from her first husband, a U.S. military doctor, after eleven years of marriage. Appearing on the YouTube channel 'Song Seung-hwan's Wonderful Life' on October 3, Song candidly discussed the cultural and emotional chasm that ultimately led to the separation.
Cultural Differences and a Request for Separation
Song, who married the American military physician in 1986 and lived in Hawaii, confessed that the initial bond was rooted in love. "I think my tendency to pursue unique things led me to marry a foreigner," she said. She also jokingly recalled the language barrier: "I couldn't fight with my husband because I couldn't speak English well."
However, the core issue, according to the actress, was a fundamental difference in emotional and cultural perspectives. She recounted the moment her husband initiated the divorce. "It was, in conclusion, a difference in emotional [culture]. My husband didn't do anything morally wrong. He just told me, 'It seems like the affection has faded after living together. What's the point of maintaining the marriage? Let's meet other partners,' and he asked for a divorce."
Song was left distraught by his rational approach. "That part is hard to understand, isn't it? We, [Koreans], continue to live together through a bond of 'Jeong' (deep emotional connection)," she explained, noting the profound sense of disappointment and frustration she felt.
The Role of Children in the Failing Marriage
In a desperate attempt to save her marriage, Song Ok-sook suggested having a child, a common approach in Korean culture to solidify a union. However, this only served to drive her husband further away.
"I even suggested, 'Let's have a child for the sake of the marriage.' But because he had already made up his mind to divorce, he considered my suggestion as clinging and an attempt to constrain him, which made him push me away more," Song revealed. Her belief at the time was that divorce represented a "failure in life," a sentiment she now acknowledges was rooted in the prevailing social views of her generation.
Returning to Acting and Her Second Marriage
Despite the emotional hardship, Song Ok-sook credited her ability to quickly bounce back, noting her high "recovery resilience." She returned to Korea with a renewed hope to meet her family and resume her acting career, which had been put on hold.
A year after her divorce, in 1999, Song remarried Lee Jong-in, the CEO of a deep-sea diving technology company (Alpha Deep-Sea Technology Company). The two had been acquaintances, as Lee was a friend of her first husband. Their family grew to include two daughters: a first daughter of Filipino mixed heritage who was adopted, and a second daughter born from her marriage with Lee.
Song Ok-sook has since re-established herself as a celebrated and prolific veteran actress, known for her powerful supporting roles in numerous films and television dramas, including notable appearances in Winter Sonata (2002), Beethoven Virus (2008), and Missing You (2012). Her career continues to flourish as she shares the wisdom of her life experiences.
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