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Home > Ko Yong-chul Column

How to Live Without Getting Hurt: Understanding, Forgiveness, and Self-Protection

KO YONG-CHUL Reporter / Updated : 2025-02-18 16:00:25
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In life, we inevitably encounter situations and people that cause us pain. The key to navigating these challenges lies in protecting our own hearts while maintaining a healthy perspective on others. This involves understanding, forgiveness, and ultimately, prioritizing our own well-being.

Understanding: The First Step to Healing

One of the most effective ways to minimize hurt is to detach others' words and actions from our own sense of self-worth. People speak and act based on their own experiences, emotions, and perspectives, which often have little to do with us personally. Recognizing this can prevent us from internalizing negativity and taking things too personally.

Lowering expectations of others can also be beneficial. Expecting others to understand us can lead to disappointment and hurt when they inevitably fall short. Instead, accepting that everyone is different and has their own unique way of seeing the world can foster greater peace of mind.

While understanding is important, it doesn't mean tolerating harmful behavior. Setting boundaries and distancing ourselves from those who repeatedly cause us pain is crucial for self-preservation. Not all relationships are worth maintaining, and prioritizing our own emotional health is paramount.

Trying to understand the other person's perspective can also be helpful. Everyone carries their own burdens and scars, which can influence their behavior. By considering the potential reasons behind their actions, we can develop greater empathy and compassion, even if we don't condone their behavior.

However, understanding doesn't equate to acceptance. It's simply a way to manage our own emotions and make sense of the situation. It's crucial to maintain our own values and standards while striving to understand others.

Forgiveness: A Gift to Ourselves

Forgiveness is often misunderstood as an act of condoning someone's actions or letting them off the hook. In reality, forgiveness is primarily for our own benefit. Holding onto anger and resentment only prolongs our own suffering. By choosing to forgive, we release ourselves from the burden of negativity and create space for healing.

This doesn't mean forgetting or condoning what happened. It simply means choosing to move forward without being consumed by bitterness. Forgiveness is a process that takes time and may not always be possible, especially in cases of deep trauma. It's important to honor our own emotions and allow ourselves to grieve and heal at our own pace.

If forgiveness feels impossible, starting with a simple decision to no longer let the situation control our lives can be a powerful first step. This can involve setting boundaries, seeking support, or focusing on self-care.

Self-Protection: The Ultimate Priority

Ultimately, the most important thing is to protect ourselves from further harm. This may involve distancing ourselves from toxic people, setting boundaries, or seeking professional help. It's crucial to remember that we are worthy of love, respect, and happiness, and we deserve to be treated with kindness.

The journey of healing and self-discovery is unique to each individual. There is no right or wrong way to navigate these challenges. The most important thing is to be patient with ourselves, honor our emotions, and prioritize our own well-being.

Understanding, forgiveness, and self-protection are all essential components of living a fulfilling and meaningful life. By embracing these principles, we can cultivate greater resilience, compassion, and inner peace.

[Copyright (c) Global Economic Times. All Rights Reserved.]

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